ULTIMATE OC MEME: MERCEDES VERSION

BASICS

FULL NAME: Mercedes Grace Montgomery
MEANING: When I looked it up (After I named her that), "Mercedes" meant "mercies." xD And is of Spanish origin, though she has neither mercy nor Spanish bloodline. "Grace" means "favor; blessing." And her last name means "Gomeric's Hill" which, Gomeric means, "Power of man." xD I knew none of this until after I named her.
NICKNAME: Merce, Merce M.
MEANING: Just a shortening of her name.
ACTUAL AGE: 21 now. She used to be 19, but now I write about her as 21. xD
RESIDENCE: Prince Apartments in New York, New York. D
AGE APPEARANCE: 21
BIRTHDAY: Feb. 1st
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Aquarius
SPECIES: Human
GENDER: Female
ALLERGIES: YOU AND THE WORLD
SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Males
OCCUPATION: Freelance writer/works part-time at - inevitably - Hot Topic. Novelist, too. She did some model work in the past and uses that monies, and sometimes does model work for Hot Topic's website.
MARITAL STATUS: Not married. xD
THEME SONG(S): Therapy by All Time Low (Everything in this song is her, exactly, except when he says "Arrogant boy." :C), Animal by Neon Trees (If you didn't get this free song from iTunes the other week, you FAIL.), I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin, Bloodstream by Stateless (If I'm looking at it from the sad breakup point of view type thing, then it is her. Poor girl.), etc.

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR: Blonde with a type of brown streaks.
HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Emo with the chunk over the eye. Just past her chin.
EYES COLOR: Sky blue.
EYESIGHT: Epic.
HEIGHT: 5'10
WEIGHT: I'm not sure. xD She's incredibly skinny. Would 100 pounds be right?
OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Emo/punk/alt/scene/goth/whatever she likes. xD
ABNORMALITIES(TAIL): Not that I know of. xDDD
DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Also not that I know of. Unless you mean tattoos. She has a large almost tribal-like one on her back, a heart on the left side of her neck, and on her left shoulder, one that looks like her skin is cracking. Like a broken plate.
SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Emo, of course. Thick winged eyeliner. Dark/black/dark gray eyeshadow. Red lipstick or sheer gloss. And base and concealer, of course.
FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: Probably that's she's scary. xD
SKIN COLOR: White.
BODY TYPE/BUILD: Thin as a rail.
DEFAULT EXPRESSION: P.O'd
POSTURE: Straight as a rod. Her mom jammed that into her brain. xD
MEASUREMENTS(FEMALE ONLY): xD I don't even know. But I'm going to say her bewbs are probably C-cups? xD But she does have a tiny waist.
PIERCINGS: Six in right ear. Five in left ear. Nose stud. Snakebites. Vampire bites in right side of neck. Belly button ring (She got it back in the popular, preppy times xD), hip piercings (TTLY STOLE THAT FROM YEW, BBY)
DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: It wouldn't be super high or super low. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I know what she sounds like. xD
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Her fists and words.

RELATIONSHIPS

MOM: Tanya Montgomery
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Sorta well. The mom doesn't approve of her style. xD So it's a little strained.
DAD: Robert Montgomery
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Excellent. He teases her and smacks her with his cane. D
SIBLINGS: Jackie Montgomery (YES THAT'S RIGHT, FLASH)
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Sometimes good, sometimes bad. They're both loudmouths.
CHILDREN: None.
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: NONE, I SED
OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: None important.
PAST LOVA(S): Well, she's dated strings of guys not worth mentioning, but the one that's most important is Dawson Jenner. Back when she was sorta prep, he was a player and she was a player-ette and she fell in love and he didn't and he broke up and etc.
CURRENT LOVA: I'm going to say...Riot. D But I don't know if they will be a perma-couple.
REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: "OMGWTF GET OUTTA MY PERSONAL SPACE, WHICH IS TEN FEET AROUND ME."
ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: Not so good. Thus, the life of a reclusive writer.
HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): She's pretty mean so it takes a special person to like her. xD
FRIENDS: Let's see...Paul, Dingo, Jackie (I'm going to say that Merce does backup vocals for Jackie's band sometimes D), Vic, Akihiko, Froze (Flash's OC)...I guess. xD
PETS: Alexandra "Alex" the female pug.
LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Just about everyone. I mean, like I said, she has a few friends, but still. xD
PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): She would let them run wild because she wouldn't want to deal with them. Her future son would come home at 10 years old with a tattoo and a biker chick girlfriend. xD (If she would have a son)
AFFINITY WITH...: Riot, I guess. xD
FAVORITE PEOPLE: The punks she hangs out with.
LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: Everyone else.

PERSONALITY

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: Ignoring. Or sarcastic remarks.
..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): "Let's get coffee."
..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): "I hate you." She would blatantly say it.
FAVORITE COLOR: Er...I'm going to say red/black/bright colors.
FAVORITE FOOD: Gummy bears, because they pwn. And Japanese bento boxes because she is in love with Japan "just like everyone else." xD
FAVORITE ANIMAL: Probably wolves. D Giant Realm-God wolves.
FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Guitar. She can play it. D And the ukulele is nice, too. She can play that as well (WHAT ARE YOU, JULIA NUNES? D8)
FAVORITE ELEMENT: Dark matter. D
FAVORITE REMEMBERED MOMENT IN LIFE: Probably when her novel was published. She could've died from epic happy.
LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: WTF I DUNNO. Vomit green? Everyone hates that color.
LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Probably Indian food.
LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Mosquito? xD
LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: I don't think she has one.
LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Water?
MOST HATED MOMENT IN LIFE: When Dawson broke up with her D; I don't think she ever quite got over it.
HOBBIES: Learning about Japan, music, writing, failing at life, etc.
USUAL MOOD:
DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: She smokes cigars. No drugs, yo, are you crazy? D8< class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">xD This is probably her usual self-version. Mean and hateful and blunt.
LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: Calm, bored, quiet. Which is rare.
HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: Very much so.
CLASS IN AN RPG: Assassin? xD
BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Yes. She saw one.
(IN)DEPENDANT: Independent.
SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: She probably has a soft spot for Dawson still. If he ever wanted to get back together, though, her pride would get the best of her and she would kick his bum to the curb, which is what she should do.
OPINION ON SWEARING: D8< What do you think?
DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: Daredevil.
MUSIC TYPE: Just about anything, except country and like, folk-songs I guess? xD
MOVIE TYPE: Lots of blood and gore and flying limbs.
BOOK TYPE: Same as movie, but her guilty pleasure is romance. *whisperwhisper* She probably hides those trashy romance novels under her bed. And she likes fantasy.
GAME TYPE: Same as movie. And probably RPG type things.
COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: 70 degrees or hotter.
SLEEPING PATTERN: Insomniac, so she gets sleep whenever she can.
CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: She's not OCD but her apartment isn't a slum or anything.
DESIRED PET: The one she has.
HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: With her hobbies. xD And making out with Riot. They do that a lot.
BIGGEST SECRET: Probably Dawson. She doesn't want anyone to know she was so dumb. xD
HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Probably Edgar Allen Poe. xD And her dad. And some old, dead writer dudes.
WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: One of those giant wolves?
FEARS: She fears she'll lose herself. And probably that she won't actually love anyone again.
COMFORTS: Cigars, coffee.
DRUNK TYPE: Probably storyteller. "This one time, I was..."
SPECIAL ABILITIES/MAGICS: She can roll her tongue? xD
HOW DID THEY GET SAID MAGICS: Born with that epicness.
DONE ANYTHING TO GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW: No. Surprising, right?
WHICH "7 DEADLY SINS" ARE THEY MOST LIKE: (lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride) Wrath.
WHICH "7 VIRTUES" DO THEY HAVE: (chastity, abstinence, liberality, diligence, patience, kindness, humility): Abstinence.

WHAT ROLE WOULD THEY BE IF THEY WERE IN...
ROMANCE MOVIE: The extra in the background
ACTION MOVIE: THE GIRL WITH THE BIG JUGS. I MEAN, GUNS.
CARTOON: The villain. D
HORROR MOVIE: She'd be the hardcore one who would take that killer DOWN. She's watched too many crappy horror movies to fall for the stairs trick.
LABYRINTH: The one stuck in the endless sorrow and suffering. o; There is no way out of her labyrinth. xDDD /endemopost
PRINCESS BRIDE: The one that crashes it for the free food.

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE...
SAD: Probably doesn't show it, unless someone died. Which, she would probably go away by herself for awhile and actually cry.
HAPPY: This really evil-looking smirk. xD She can't smile properly. She's wired wrong.
ANGRY: Her default mode? xD
AFRAID: Wouldn't show it.
LOVE SOMEONE: Pinching and smacking them around. Shooting them with a BB Gun in the unmentionables area...xD
HATE SOMEONE: Flat-out tell them.
WANT SOMETHING: She'd persevere and get it.
CONFUSED: Blank look on her face.

HOW DO THEY REACT TO...
DANGER: Take charge.
SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: If she has interest, she'll tell them she likes them, but if she doesn't, she'll tell them that they're ugly and she hates them and does not want a romantic relationship. xDDD
PROPOSAL TO MARRY: "OMGWTF NO."
DEATH OF LOVED ONE: See "SAD."
DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: She'd end up getting a headache. xD But she's pretty darn smart.
INJURY: She would pull up her big girl panties and GET ON WITH LIFE.
SOMETHING IRRESISTIBLY CUTE: Poke it.
LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: Complain. She needs that monies, yo.

HISTORY

BIOGRAPHY: When she was a kid she was completely normal. Happy, peppy, hyper, and way too blunt. Oh, those kiddies say the darndest things c: So her parents would never know she would grow up to be what she did, except she was really creative when she was young. Always doodling something that was in her mind, and then as soon she learned to write she wrote short stories all the time. Of course, at that point her writing was the dog poop people scraped off of their shoe when they stumbled upon it. But she was just a kid. Slackplz.

In junior high she got really into studying, which was, thus, her nerdy phase. Her looks never changed (Same long blonde hair, big blue eyes, tan skin), but she was studying incredibly hard in everything because she wanted not only to be a writer, but to be somewhat of a genius or child prodigy (Which are not the same thing at all). She did not, turns out, end up exactly a genius - but somewhat of a prodigy. She didn't fast-forward into any grades, though, because she still wanted to be "normal," whatever that was. Her sister Jackie (Who was just two years younger than Merce, and a spitfire from the beginning) was not so enthusiastic about it. She also never got along with Jackie until they were both "adults" because their personalities were so different at this point.

High school - which she finished early, at seventeen. Which, that year, she did nothing but write like crazy and polish her skills, and went to college at eighteen, which she finished early, as well, at twenty. She studied a major in journalism and a minor in Asian studies, and took a crapton of writing classes. Very srsbznz - at sixteen, she met Dawson Jenner, who was a player, and like I said, she was a player-ette. But she actually fell in love for once, but Dawson was still his hobo mean-bum self who didn't love anyone, and he broke up with her and called her clingy. As well as a bunch of names I probably shouldn't mention here. This not only broke Mercedes's preppy little heart, but turned it to stone. It was only about six months later that she jumped right into the alternative style and never looked back.

She's gotten short stories, poems, and articles published, and finally, FINALLY, has a book published. She is officially a novelist. She actually privately did a happy dance for her floor-length mirror. o; She probably would make out with her editor if he wasn't so repulsed by her obvious alternative-ness and mean-spirited pessimistic personality.

I guess there should be more details. xD They're probably bouncing around my head.

FIRST APPEARANCE: In my mind. D Or, in a short story with then-boyfrand Akihiko Watanabe.

KNOWLEDGE

LANGUAGES: English, Japanese, French.
SCHOOLING LEVEL: College? xD
FAVORITE SUBJECT: Creative Writing and/or Grammar
INTERESTED CAREERS: Novelist.
EXPERTISE: Obviously good enough. xD *pokes bio*
PUZZLES: Pretty good. She likes Rubik's Cubes.
CHEMISTRY: Okay.
MATH: She passed just enough in this one. xD She hates math with all her crooked heart.
ENGLISH: Excellent
GEOGRAPHY: Okay.
POLITICS/LAW: Pretty good.
ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: Epic fail. xD
COOKING: Good enough.
SEWING: Excellent (She has some handmade stuffed animals somewhere...)
MECHANICS: Fail.
BOTANY (FLOWERS): Okay. She has a bonsai tree in her apartment.
MYTHOLOGY: Excellent.
DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): Excellent. (xD)
READING LEVEL: Er, I dunno, college and up? xDD
HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: She's no OCD Super Planner, but if she needs to make a plan, she will.
IMPULSIVE/STRATEGY: Half-and-half. It depends on if the situation calls for it.

ROMANCE

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: Oh yus.
HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): Bold.
GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Ladylike.
GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: Go slow.
TRUE LOVE VS TESTING DIFF PEOPLE: Testing different people.
PROTECTIVE: Notrly.
ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Friends in public, lovers in private. ;D
WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Probably just small things every now and then to show that she doesn't really hate them. xD
TYPE OF KISSER: Gud.;o She does know French, after all ;D xDDDDD
DO THEY WANT KIDS: /keysmash NO.
DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: /moarkeysmash NO. (Well, it would take an incredibly long time and an incredibly special guy for her to actually marry some dude)
MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Good, I'd say.
ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Probably not.
GET JEALOUS EASY: Nope.
WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: Just playfully. Not fer srs.
MARRY FOR MONEY: No.
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: Probably at an artsy coffee shop.

...Just please don't ever let me go.

Listening To: Cuddle Fuddle by Passion Pit
Feeling: Content? xD

"...I filled the bucket
I spilled the bucket
Out on the floor
A mistake for sure
Consequences
Turned me hostile
I got so tied in
Made me docile
Then you applauded
When I was loving
Made me feel weak andI start recovering
Now I feel silly
Selfish and dizzy
Now I got this feeling
That you'll forgive me..."

I'm now linking to a video of the songs I listen to, to make it easier for you guys to go to, and because I want to enlighten you all with my awesome taste in music, as it appears that I adore Passion Pit lately. ;o; Srsbznz, they are freaking awesome, you have no idea. I could listen to their songs for hours. I only have The Reeling and Sleepyhead on my iPod; I need to get some more.

This post doesn't really have a point, because I really can't think of anything to say for once, and I'm always talking. xD Well, I guess I could talk about my novel, which ISN'T BEING UPDATED. A.K.A., if SHE is the Typo Queen, I'm the Procrastination Queen. What's with all my plot tweaking? I think Micah might end up getting to stay alive longer than was originally intended.

xD And now I'm obsessed with Hetalia. My iFriends have dubbed me America - and since I live in America, I wanted to be something different. xD But by watching Hetalia, I probably am, indeed, America. We're both dumb and like milkshakes and cheeseburgers and being the hero. xDDD I guess. SHE is pretty intimidating, so I would say SHE's Russia, even though she doesn't like Russians. xD

Still, though, speaking of HER (Numerous times xD), we've been having incredibly epic times lately. ♥ She's absolutely the best, I swear. She makes me laugh like crazy and come out of my shell and whatnot. People say we're apparently mesmerizing when combined together.

She's the LIGHTNING and I'm the THUNDER; she attracts the attention and I make the noise behind the scenes.

Listening To: Saturate by Breaking Benjamin
"...Do you know that I could never leave you?
And you know I could never beat you?
And if I, if I could never find you, nevermind
I would not forget you
Can I stay alive forever?
Can I stay alive forever?
Can I stay alive forever?..."

I have honestly never met a person so intelligent as she is. We can have the stupidest conversations sometimes, or we could be spouting random facts or talk about something seriously. She's always there and she's always waited for me, even when I was a couple steps behind. She's always there to catch me when I fall.

Thanks. ♥

What is the single largest item in your house?
I have no idea. Probably a piece of furniture. xD

How well can you write your name with your non dominant hand?
Not that well, I guess. xD I don't try too often.

What color is your bedroom?
Sort of purple-y theme? But hopefully to be repainted soon. I sort of want red with gold accents or these mindblinding bright colors, but I doubt I'll get either. xD

What type of computer mouse do you use?
I use the laptop's mousepad thing. xD Which is not a mouse.

Are you a really fast text messager?
Fo' sure.

Do you have anything you keep on you 24/7?
Er, a Celtic-looking ring.

Do you usually write in print or in cursive?
Print.

What was your first job?
xD Lawn-mowing.

Do you prefer crushed ice or cubed?
Crushed. D8< miiinddcruuush. What print is on your plates or cups in your kitchen? I don't think there is a print on most of them. xD Dad has a wicked-cool skull print on a cup, though. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? Nope. Who would I make it for? xD What do you want to buy from an infomercial? SHAM-WOW. 8D I already got a Snuggie at the store. Leopard print, bby. Warm as all get-out, but I am not going out in public wearing one of these.

Do you believe that animals have souls?
Yeah, I do. But that's probably because I have two of them snoring next to me.

What word/phrase do you find really annoying?
"Totes" when someone wants to say "totally." I really want to strangle them.

Do you have a lava lamp or a black light?
Used to have a lava lamp but it broke.

Do you find yourself not having enough electrical outlets?
FER SURE.

What is the longest you can wait patiently?
No. I will bug the crap out of you.

Have you ever been under anesthesia?
Nope.

Are your fingernails long or short?
Long, except for one that broke that I'm going to have to grow out again. xD But some more will probably break and I'll just cut them all off and wait for them to grow again.

Are you afraid of bright colors?
I am married to bright colors. They're my 47th husband. L Lawliet is my first husband, though...D

Has anyone ever accused you of being gay?
FAKE AND GAY D8<

Can you tell people honest things to their face?
No. I'm horrible at it. xD

Would you rather eat grits or oatmeal?
Maple Brown Sugar oatmeal, plz. Grits taste like you scraped up gravel, ground it up, and dumped it in a bowl with a stick of butter.

Do you lie to make people feel better?
No, I don't think so.

How many times a day do you look at the clock?
A ton. A TON. All the time, seriously.

Do you like to organize things?
Sometimes I get in those moods.

Are you going to have smile lines or frown lines when you're older?
Frown lines, for sure.

Do you floss your teeth every day?
Indeed.

Do you like the game red rover?
dsfhdkfb I LOST THE GAME.
I never played it.

Which is better, thick crust or thin?
Depends. If it's like..cheesecake...you best believe I want some thick graham cracker crust. If it's pizza, I'd say thin.

How good are you at keeping secrets?
I'm excellent. D I didn't use to be.

What stupid little thing really stresses you out?
A little thing called life. D

Can you remember what you wore yesterday?
Nope. xD

Which Disney parks have you been to?
None.

What do you think the drinking age should be?
I guess what it is now. I don't have any desire to drink, so it doesn't matter.

Do you like to wear socks?
Yeah. Knee-socks ftw.

What is the last cartoon you watched?
xD Hetalia Axis Powers. Sort of a cartoon.

What does your bed comforter look like?
Like, purple and white. From when I went through the purple phase. xD

...And pray they don't grow up to be me.

Listening To: Golden by Fall Out Boy
Feeling: Eh :c

"...Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams
Where the sewage of youth drown the spark of my tears
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me (too heavy for me)
And though I carry karats for everyone to see (everyone to see)..."

Slow computer is slow today, even though it's usually not slow. That is not the point of this blogpost today, though, for I have semi-good/semi-bad news.

Yesterday, I finally freaking started the Mafia story. I still don't have a title for it (I was thinking something along "Hello, Nightmare," but I'm not quite sure yet. It's a working title, so I guess that's what it's going to be for now, and what I'll refer to it as), but I've got one chapter down. It's probably a faily chapter, but a chapter nonetheless, and besides; rewriting books once they're finished is all apart of the process. At least, if you're going to sell it.

I realize now, as I post this, that when Flash reads it and finds out that there's a chapter done, she's going to breathe down my neck and demand to see it. xD I still haven't sent her Micah's history like I've been falsely promising (I'll send it...eventually, I swear).

The semi-bad news is that I'm not quite sure what to do now after this first chapter. xD I mean, I do, since I have the plot all finished and neatly written out and whatnot, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I suppose. I was trying to work on it yesterday but dad kept bugging me and poking me in the back. xD

I love that guy, my dad. ♥ He's the best, and so is mom. Those guys are epic.

They always told me I was gorgeous in a way.

Listening To: Friends and Alibis by Escape the Fate
Feeling: I don't know

"...And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame
So hold your head
Hold it up high
Here's to the friends that were alibis
Keep this close by your side
When I come home we will have our night
Oh, they always told me I was gorgeous in a way
And that fateful day
I found who I was..."

These are five facts you probably don't know about me. xD But Flash might know these. She knows most of the pathetic, useless facts about me. Sheesh, after two years, I would think so. xD

• 1. When I go to college, I plan to study journalism as my major, and Japanese Studies as my minor.
• 2. L Lawliet is my favorite anime guy of all time. Ever. In fact, my favorite fictional character.
• 3. I'm pretty much facisnated with just about anything emo/scene/goth/punk/alt.
• 4. I like to make fun of the stuff I like/love, like Twilight or my original characters. It doesn't bother me if you call Edward a sparkling dipsnap. I'll lol with you.
• 5. I like to sketch in charcoal (My favorite is the 6B ♥) even though it's messy and seems impossible to erase, even with the special eraser specifically made for erasing charcoal.

I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no.

Listening To: Of All The Gin Joints In The World by Fall Out Boy
Feeling: EPIC FEELINGS OF HAPPY

"...You only hold me up like this
'Cause you don't know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you
We're making out inside crashed cars
We're sleeping through all our memories
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
(now I only waste it dreaming of you)
Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
'Cause all of our moves make up for the silence..."

FVBDHGFUGBPFDHIGBL! ♥

That is happy keyboard mumbo-jumbo right tharr.

Okay, so, I've been RP'ing with Flash and entertaining the thought of Vic (Ric's "twin" brother, though you guys probably have no idea what I'm talking about xD) being in a special type of mafia. And so, last night, while I was reading some Death Note, it suddenly slapped me in the face: all those random characters I've been drawing? MAFIA CHARACTERS. Or, this special mafia thing. It's different than a typical mafia...some people are magical/have powers or are just normal humans trained highly in combat and the use of guns or knives.

I'm so happy about this I can barely breathe.

I'm pretty sure I crapped a brick made of sugar, spice, everything nice, and sparkles.

This means my writer's block is leaving! Once I finally have the main characters (Probably some of the supporting characters, too) all nice and neat, I can start formulating a plot. This could take only a week, or a couple weeks, or even a few months, but the point is, I can start doing something productive with my writing again. c: This makes Merz very, very excited and happy.

I can barely wait to squeal what I have so far at Flash. xD

So far, I have all the names of the Mafia: Micah, Quentin, the Hails Triangle (Vic, Ric, and Skylar. "We'll give 'em Hails!" Ric says. xD), Oblivion, Guillotine, and Roslyn. I guess they can get some outside help from Hatchet and Aubree? I don't know if I'd ever bring Justice and Audree in on this...

I'm pretty sure I have Micah's history of his plots before he decided to start the Mafia and how he became immortal and how you become immortal and kill one. And for his name? Ttly got that from Paranormal Activity. ;D I liked the name and wrote it down somewhere.

Love that movie. *_*

Listening To: I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) by Fall Out Boy

"...And besides my reputation's on the line
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead
From comparing myself to everyone else around me
Please put the doctor on the phone 'cause I'm not making any sense
Blame everyone but me for this mess
And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart
We never seemed so far
I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough
But we never had it at all..."

I found a piece of you on the floor next to the couch near the gummy bears that your mom left out.

Listening To: I Think You Know by Julia Nunes
Feeling: Sleepy

"...'Cause if you're gone then I'm gone
Whatever road you are on
I know we'll survive
Just as long as you drive
I'll hold my arms up till the blood drains from my finger tips
My shoulder blades will burn but I won't be the first to quit
But I cant watch as your appendages fall from your sleeves
I wanna put you back together if you let me..."

dbnfvhidbhydbfl
The last post totally breaks up the monotony of the serious posts I was slapping up nearly everyday. I have no idea what emo streak stabbed through me, but as emo as I might be, I can still post things that aren't serious. I was thinking of making a separate blog to post the serious stuff, but I think if this blog is about me (Narcissistic little...), then you need every single version and every single side of me if you want the real thing.

Though I don't think many/any people read this thing anymore, I still always post on it. I don't think just because you have Followers that it means people read your blog or just because no one leaves comments that no one reads it. I suppose I just have a feeling.

I also suppose that I say "I suppose" a lot. :C I should really tone that down, because it's going to get annoying for all of us.

Speaking of annoying, though, I have this extremely strong urge to write...BUT I still can't think of anything to write about. I definitely think I'm going to take a hiatus from the Judgment Trilogy because I have know idea WTF to do with it. It's extremely unlikely that I'll be on hiatus from it forever because it has to tie in with the Sacrifice Trilogy so much. I don't know if I can just leave my future readers hanging.

Listening To: Echo by Incubus (Much love to Flash, who introduced me to these guys)

"...Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive..."

fdjfbldhffsd, again.
It just really upsets me about this writing. :C Sure, I doodle crap all the freaking time, but that's going to get old sometime soon, and you know what? I'll end up having art block, too. I can't imagine being doubly blocked from two of the things I love most. I suppose if something like that happens I could just read for awhile, or melt my brain on some anime so it can stop working so hard on these conundrums and cool down for awhile.

Stop worrying and stressing out, brain. You're being really annoying lately.

Still, good things have happened, too. Really good things.

If I have proper encouragement and a good idea, I'll be able to bust out of this little block I'm trapped in. Even if I have had this block since...forever, it feels like. How many months has it been so far? D8< I think the longest writer's block I ever had was a year and a half.

WTF DO NOT WANT.

No hxc dancing in the living room.

Listening To: No Hardcore Dancing In the Living Room by Chiodos
Feeling: Hungry

1. Who was the last person to call you babe?
Probably Flash, who was making fun of me. :c Can't remember what for though.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes. It's always me who returns the cart; it never fails.

3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
No?

4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?
No, never.

5. Do you play Sudoku?
Every now and then, but I'm usually reading a book or writing or drawing. Or talking to that lame-o in Latvia.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
No. I'm pretty sure I'd die within the first day.

7. Have you danced in the rain?
Never.

8. Would you consider yourself a jock/prep/goth/emo/gangster?
I suppose I'm a bit emo? xD No razorblades for me, though.

9. Ever been to the beach?
A few times when I was way young. It was so pretty there.

10. Do you like cheese?
I do like cheese. Very tasty.

11. Have you ever been to the emergency room?
I have.

12. Do you like hot or cold weather more?
I don't really know. Whenever it's hot I say I'd rather have cold weather but when it's cold I say I'd rather have hot.

13. How many different kinds of meat have you eaten?
Do you expect me to keep a tally?

14. Do you pass gas and blame it on others?
Never. I don't pass gas around others, period.

15. Do you like winter?
No, notrly.

16. Have you wiped a booger under your desk?
That's repulsive; of course not.

17. Do you have a secret crush?
I don't have a crush at all unless you count fictional characters.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would do?
I'd grab my pugs and yell to my parents so we could get out, and they would grab the yorks. And then I'd try to go back for my laptop.

19. Would you get plastic surgery?
No D; I'd be afraid someone would mess up my face or other part of my body they're operating on.

20. Who do you text the most?
I haven't texted a lot lately.

21. What color are your eyes?
fbhbfsdbf Faily hazel.

22. How tall are you?
5'5"

23. Do you wish you had smaller feet?
No, not really. I think they're an okay size.

24. Has a rumor been spread about you?
Yes. I hadn't hung around my neighborhood "friends" quite awhile back and a rumor went around that I broke my leg. Oh, and one of my friends thought I was albino, despite the fact that I don't have red eyes or white hair. Just really. Really. Really. Really. Pale.

25. Have you written a secret admirer letter?
No. I would die from epic nervousness just picking up the pen.

26. Ever fallen for your best friend?
No. My best friend is a girl, in case you haven't noticed. xD

27.
hohoho, what was here?~

28. Would you pretend to like something to please your partner?
Never.

29. Favorite Ex?
Don't have one. I hate everyone equally, don't you see? <3

30. Are you insecure about your weight?
xD That's just dumb.

31.
There was something here, but it left.

32. Would you rather give or recieve?
Receive because I'm a Selfish Sully, but I like to give, too, to see the looks on their faces.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Sleep. D I have lots of dreams when I sleep.

34. Do you look more like your mom or dad?
My dad. :3 I act like him, too.

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
15-30 mins, usually.

36. Do you watch reality tv?
I usually don't watch TV at all unless it's a)Anime, b)Vampire Diaries, or c)A specific movie I want to watch. I mean, I watch Big Bang Theory and stuff every great while, but the TV is usually abandoned to go read something.

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
If I had to pick? Err...Percy Jackson and the Lightning Flash, or Whip It. All the scary movies look like crap.

38. Do you illegally burn music?
No, not ever. I couldn't imagine breaking the law.

39. What did you do for New Years Eve?
I sat around and ate stuff. Nom nom.

40. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
*makes so-so motion with hands* It takes a lot to impress me in the gore department.

41. Last sporting event attended?
Probably a football game. I'm not into sports.

42. Have you been to an IMAX theater?
Yes, I think so.

43. Was your mom a cheerleader?
She might've been. She was really pretty and I think, popular.

44. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents?
Yus. D

45. What is your middle name?
I can't say, but I do go by my middle name because I hate my first name. Personal reasons.

46. How old was your mom when she gave birth to you?
If I tell you you might figure out how old I am o; Can't remember if I've ever said my mom's age.

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
Depends.

48.
So many poofing questions.

49. What do you buy at the Movies?
Usually just the ticket. That crizz is expensive, yo.

50. Do you know how to play poker?
Nope.

51. Do you wear your seat belt?
Always. xD For some reason.

52. What do you wear to sleep??
Usually a random tee and some comfy pants. Gotta love those comfy pants.

53. Anything big ever happen in your town?
Not that I know of.

54. Is your hair straight or curly?
I straighten it, but naturally it has a repulsive slight curl to the ends.

55. Is your tongue pierced?
No, and I don't plan on it. xD

56. Do you like Liver and Onions?
Liver ewewewewewewewewew.

57. What is your favorite sushi?
I have lots of favorites D But the pink stuff to cleanse your palete is just nasty.

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
I like both. Everything can't be a joke but everything can't be mundane either.

59. Ever been to Hollywood?
No, never that far.

60. Who is on your mind right now?
Writer's block and how much it fails.

61. Any plans for tonight?
Probably just doodle crappily.

62. Last party attended?
Merz + parties = no.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
I love it a lot. <3 Crunch bars for the win.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Err, my sassily awesome attitude? xD Not so awesome to them. Or anyone else.

65. Are you a gullible person?
YUS. I wanna change that.

66. Ever go to a theme or costume party?
No.

67. If you could have any job what would it be?
Novelist. <3

68. Are you easy to get along with?
No. xD Definitely not. And I hate everyone at first, and if I get to know you I decide if I like you.

69. What is your favorite time of day?
xD I don't know if I have a favorite. Maybe towards the end of the day; squeeze in some epic doodles and go to sleep.

70. Are you a generally happy person?
Hurr.

I know exactly what goes on.

Listening To: Cute Without the E by Taking Back Sunday
Feeling: Nervous

"...Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me..."

I don't really have any incredibly deep thoughts to share with you all today. I'm not sure what the last few posts are all about; meaning, why I've been thinking so deeply about everything lately. Maybe, like I've said, I'm growing up just like Flash is. Though, my deep-rooted feelings for Japan haven't ceased...but I don't really think that liking anime, manga, etc. is a real sign of growing up or being a kid. It's just something to enjoy.

The only really deep thought I have is that I know exactly what goes on in the world, even if I pretend not to...pretending to myself, I guess. The world seems like a scary place where people can get hurt very easily. Maybe we'll all end up equipped properly to face it.

Listening To: MakeD**nSure by Taking Back Sunday

"...And we lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)
We lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close
I just wanna break you down so badly
Well I trip over everything you say
Well I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way..."

Life is too short, and you're almost dead.

Listening To: Lyrical Lies by Cute Is What We Aim For

Feeling: Like thinking about something.

"...And I think what I just wrote is going over my head

I'm stealing lines from myself

And what I said was never said

It's just a lyrical lie

Made up in my mind..."

You know how when you're teenager, you always think you're thoroughly invincible. I'm a teenager, so I should know, but...I also think that when you're an adult, it seems like most things end for you. I won't be able to lay in bed all day listening to my iPod on Sundays anymore when I'm an adult someday; I'll be working on a presentation for work or making business calls (For some reason, I see myself as a businesswoman journalist until I become a novelist).

Seems like the fun is going to be over before any of us will realize it, and then it's on to the structured little lives we're going to have to uphold. Even if some of you decide not to have kids or even a husband/wife, you're life is still going to be busy. You won't be able to set in your chair on your computer for hours on end and type away in your blog or doodle around with your iPod turned up to the max.

I guess I was also thinking about one day when I have a husband. It was practically almost a life-long dream to have a husband who would love me forever and just be so perfect, but now that I'm older I realize (Though I'm a romantic most of the time) that this is real life. Marriage can end in divorce. There can be infidelity (For me, though, I would never cheat. I've never cheated at anything in my life; I just can't do it). There can be a fading of love. Everything can end.

Call me a pessimist, but....maybe I'm just trying to grow up, too, and be more realistic.

Listening To: That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed) by Panic! At the Disco

"...Things are shaping up to be pretty odd

Little deaths in musical beds

So it seems I'm someone I've never met

You will only hear these elegant crimes

Fall on your ears from criminal dimes

They spill unfound from a pretty mouth..."

Maybe it's true that when officially grow up, our old self dies and is reborn as someone who's ready for marriage, a job, to be successful, to not be so flippant or lazy. Some of us never die and become that person; some of live on through the transition hatefully and end up a lifelong dreamer.

Can we really be a dreamer forever? I am a dreamer, but I know I can't just be a teenager, acting and dressing like one, when I'm thirty-years-old. That's seems a bit wrong; the people who do that, who copy the trends around them or of teenagers of their friends to make sure they're fashionable, are sickening. It's pathetic and a cry out to be young and hip. I detest adults like that.

Bada Bing! Wit A Pipe!

Listening To: Bada Bing! Wit A Pipe! by Four Years Strong

Feeling: Hungry (Doesn't that just ruin the serious mood of a post)

"...Sing it back to me; this is your life story

You didn't even know it you're trying not to blow it

Because you're kicking back a death wish and here I am just riding out the storm

Believe me when I say that I want to give up

I want to give up but it's bad enough to keep me hooked

Just to watch you curse my name and toss and turn..."

I was thinking about some of the better ways that I've changed, even though it seems like it's a bit narcissistic to think about oneself too much, but I guess I am pretty self-absorbed and vain sometimes, andothers I have low self-esteem, usually when I'm around a cute boy.

But that's entirely beside the point. We're talking about my positive changes; my positive points.

I would have to say that I think I've improved in my writing; I think the movements are smoother, less rough, and the characters have more complexity and originality. They have songs that describe them, and since my art skills have also seemed to improve, I can get them straighter in my head when I draw them. They now have pasts and lives before the story that I'm writing them in. They don't have just a generic personality.

The art skills that seem to've crept up behind me and consumed me, making me draw all the time lately because of my writer's block, that are getting better have caused my parents to run out and buy me a huge sketchbook (The sheets of paper are maybe twice the size of my laptop screen? And wider?), art supplies, loose sketch paper. It takes a lot for my parents to be impressed; they don't impress or compliment easily, and they would never say I was good if I weren't. Still, this isn't pumping my ego. My head is staying roughly the same size it's always been. I don't think a day's gone by since my writer's block that I haven't at least doodled something, even if it's small.

Listening To: YEAH! Ska Dance by Oreskaband

"...Kimi ni namida ni mou hitotsu

Kireina mizu wo sosogou ka?

Kanashii toki niwa issho ni nakou

Sukoshizutsu shiawase ni narebaii..."

The fact that I'm also listening to music all the time also makes me happy, for some reason. I can almost always find a song to match my current situation, mood, what I'm writing, or what I'm drawing. Music seems to make things very easy or easier. I used to listen to music a lot before, but now I am literally pretty much doing one/multiple of these things at once at all times: on the computer, reading, writing, drawing, listening to music.

I'm also still attempting to learn Japanese and more about the Asian culture, but I hate how every other teenager is an "otaku" and whenever I attempt to say that I'm serious about the Japanese culture, people brush me off by saying, "Isn't everyone supposedly serious about the Japanese culture?" I don't like it when they do it, but they don't know me. I try not to care so much, as it's just them running their mouth off and not really caring. I'm friends with one of these people, though, so no hard feelings.

They were never my friends and I was living a lie, but I won't fall for it next time.

Listening To: Remember to Feel Real by Armor For Sleep

Feeling: Reflective

"...'Cause you know I change myself

To impress whoever happens to be next to me

But I'm sick of trying so hard

Waste all your time with me

I know I'm a mess right now

Don't give up; believe

I'd wait it out for you..."

Ah, just unfortunately thinking about last summer and the summer before it, and how my friends always abandon me as soon as school starts. I'm sure it would be a lot easier if I went to school with them instead of being homeschooled, but I love being homeschooled. I would never want to change being homeschooled.

I'm not sure why it seems to happen to me every time, but I realize (As I usually do, later down the road when I wished I had realized it much, much earlier) that my mom was right when she said that anyone would be blessed if they find one true friend for their life.

I don't really want to dwell on it, but the title and the chorus does describe me. I always try to feel out whatever person I'm talking to and try to find common interests and blend myself in to be complimentary to them and their personality so I can impress them and they'll want to be friends with me. I suppose I wonder if they knew my anime/all Japanophile ways, my crazy humor, my extremely serious moments, the way my brain works, that everything would come crashing down.

Listening To: Stop and Stare by OneRepublic

"...This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us

It's time to make our move, I'm shakin' off the rust

I've got my heart set on anywhere but here

I'm staring down myself, counting up the years..."

And somewhere in my brain must've told me I was an idiot to do something like that. And so, last year at summertime, I decided I would open myself up as much as I possibly could, and display my full personality...or, at least, quite a bit of it. And I thought I had a fast-best-friend.

We laughed. Talked all the time. Had inside jokes. Had a secret-handshake. Ran out in the street together everytime we saw each other outside. Walked our dogs together. Talked about our mutual favorite band (Which was the Jonas Brothers, whom I really do detest now). Scoped out hot guys. Played childish games. Read the same books at the same time and tell each other what we thought of it. Painted our nails the same color. It was almost as if we were truly connected at the hip.

It was some of the best times, it seemed, and I couldn't wait for it to continue. But as soon as school started for us both, the seperation cut our ties, apparently. The phone calls stopped coming and when I called, I was ignored. I did try to figure out what I must've done wrong, and even though she didn't care for anything Japanese or some of my other interests, she didn't resent me because I liked them. She laughed like crazy at my facial expressions and my jokes. It seemed my personality was likable. That I, in fact, was likable.

Listening To: I So Hate Consequences by Relient K

"...And after all of my alibis desert me

I just want to get by

I don't want nothing to hurt me

I had no idea where my head was at

But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that

Because I just want for all of this to end..."

I was not the shy girl with her that couldn't speak up or hold up a convesation without fading out into the background because someone else talked over me or didn't even hear me at all - or, even worse, ignored me altogether. It felt awesome to have a best friend to talk to. Of course, it appears she was not really my best friend. Or a friend at all.

As for this blog title's lyrics, what I'm trying to say is, I won't get sucked in this year to another summer of false friendship, from not only this fake best friend, but the other fake friends of my neighborhood who acted.

You all deserve Oscars.

There's a Hole Where Something Was.

Listening To: Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes by Fall Out Boy

Feeling: like giving it a ponder

"I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine

What a match, I'm half-doomed and you're semi-sweet

So boycott love, detox just to retox

And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life

Imperfect boys with their perfect lives

Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

(Wants to hear you sing about tragedy)"

I was thinking about my writing. I haven't been writing anything but scraps every now and then for a little while because of writer's block, so I've been practicing drawing in my spare time when I had nothing to do. Mom and dad say I'm improving. Even Flash says I'm improving. It makes me happy to draw, but I'm worried I'll get too wrapped up in it and end up forgetting about writing. You can't exactly throw away five years of that, though, can you? I wouldn't think that I would be such a fickle teenager as that.

Still, I have varying opinions of myself, from low to high, depending on who I'm around and what particular mood I'm in. I used to hold myself up pretty high on a pedestal, thinking I was smarter, prettier, more mature than everyone else, but that just isn't true. I know I've said it before, but I have changed alot over the years, and I definitely don't know myself yet. I want too, but it's so hard to get in touch; to come within reach.

I suppose you can love more than one hobby at a time without it having to be a career choice; writing, however, I believe is my career choice. I wasn't born with talent, but only few people, are, aren 't they? You have to practice to get better. You don't naturally come out the womb with a pencil and piece of paper and are set for life.

Listening To: The (Shipped) Gold Standard by Fall Out Boy

"I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs

But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me

You can only blame your problems on the world for so long

Before it all becomes the same old song

As soon as we hit the hospital I know we're gonna leave this town

And get new passports and get, get, get, get, get out now"

What I decided though, is that I'm going to do what makes me happy. I'm going to draw, I'm going to write. I'm going to listen to mainstream music and music so obscure only a few people know about it (Like Owl City before he beacame popular. I was a long-time fan of his along with Flash before his Fireflies boom). I'm going to create charcters crazy or sane, with whatever appearences I want them to have, in whatever drawing style. I'll love like a vampire.

I'll be Team Edward, Team Damon, Team Hikaru, Team Death the Kid, Team L.

I'll just try to be me to the best of my abilities and love my friends and family with every bit of my heart and not hold back. I'll enjoy every moment in their presence and I'll remember the memories years from now. I'll be the one to ask "remember when."

I don't have to suscribe to a style to like it.

I don't have to fit your perceived notions of me or the blank copies I put out for people.

Accept me or hate me, either way, I am me.